Hey! Randy

The Test to Take Before You Take the Get into College Test

Posted by heyrandy on November 9, 2011

Many people worry about their college aptitude test. The test is usually the ACT or the SAT. There is really no need to worry. If you have a pulse and your check doesn’t bounce, you can get into college. Face reality: Ivy League is not in most people’s future. You are most people. Be thankful for this. You could be accepted into America’s OxBridge. It will cost you a fortune to get an education that is little better than you would have received at Obscure U. If you actually used the library at OU, you education would have been much better. The degree you receive at High End U does grant you name dropping rights, but the snob factor is not worth the cost. Your four year party to develop an useful friends list and perfect your beer drinking skills is rained on and reined in by cost considerations.

This is why you need the Hey Randy Test (HRT) of college material. There is no need to travel to far away Dream College only to find out that the C you made in English could have just as easily been made locally. Think of it as helping the buy local movement. Unlike the ACT or the SAT, the HRT is not an aptitude test. Nor is it an altitude test. It is an attitude test. Take at your own risk.

1. What were the last 10 book I read that were not assigned as required reading?

2. I have an A average in all my classes excepting Shop or PE.

3. If I can, I always sign up for classes taught by teachers with the reputation for the toughest grading.

4. I watch less than five hours of television a week.

5. I believe college debt will be easily repaid once I graduate and get the high-paying job that my degree will open the door to.

6. When I encounter a word I do not know I find out what it means.

7. I ask my teachers for additional work or reading even if no additional credit is to be given.

8. I have a reading list, some of which I developed from reading lists I received from university department  chairmen to whom I have written. (Double points if you requested the graduate school reading list.)

9. I can correctly use the words lay and lie.

10. This test reveals that I have a lot of work to do.

Assignment: develop a grading scale for this test. Think of this as you first college assignment, beer not included.

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