Hey! Randy

Take These With You

Posted by heyrandy on July 10, 2010

You have by now taken my college aptitude test. You know that college is a curve ball situation; nothing is straight forward. To survive you need skills and abilities. You know that I have a unique (okay, weird) perspective on college, so you need what I am about to say. I am going to teach you things that are important in life. These things are not what you are going to learn in any college. There is a reason for that: no one is willing to pay for this. You think that college is about learning, but it is really about money. This is why they only teach you what you will pay for.

1. The  most important thing you will hear in college is professor says. Unless you agree with the professor you grades will suffer. It does not matter if you are right. It does not matter if the professor is an idiot. Learn that to disagree is to hurt. This will prepare you for your first job.

2. The most important thing you will do in college is pay this amount. If you don’t pay, you don’t play. This is life.

3. The most important thing you will discover at college is the reason they say it is required. It is where the profit is.

4. The most important thing you will learn at college is that college has been dumbed down. Most people would not survive there very long unless it was.

5. The most important date in college is the last day to drop a course without failing. Know when to bailout.

6. The most important rule in college is for you to remember that college does not make you smart. The people that run this country are all college graduates.

7. The most important place in college is the library. That is where the real learning is. It is usually deserted.

8. The most important character trait at college is honesty. It almost doesn’t exist.

9.The most important mistake to avoid at  college is suspending your disbelief. If you believe them, you will become one of them.

10. The most important scheduling arrangement you will make is to take classes with lots of athletes in them. If you do this you will get an A.

This is how the system works. Now work the system.

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