Hey! Randy

College Test

Posted by heyrandy on June 18, 2010

It is the time of year when some people write Seniors 2010 on their car windows. If you are one of those, you may be considering college. This is a decision that has to be made with serious thought. To that end I have devised a test to help you determine if you are college material. Be sure to mark all the correct answers!

1. When faced with a problem that I do not understand I

a. ignore it.

b. try guessing until I am bored

c. stick someone else with it

d. get drunk

2. I can pay for college by

a. going deeply into debt

b. putting the touch on those to whom I am related

c. dealing in contraband

d. apply for and receive a beer pong scholarship

3. When in college I plan to study

a. whatever is the easiest

b. intoxication

c. dating

d. study?

4. When ever someone uses a word I don’t know

a. I don’t care

b. I complain

c. I was not paying attention

d. will it be  on the exam?

5. My social life at college will

a. consist of being  ill in the morning

b. cause me to wake up in a strange place I don’t like

c. require many visits to the clinic

d. frequently require bail

6. My favorite reading is

a. graphic novels

b. anything by Harry Potter. He’s a great writer!

c. television

d. what does reading have to do with college?

7. When assigned a paper to write I

a. go to the library to catch up on gossip with my friends

b. buy one off the Internet.

c. farm it out to some grad student with more brains than money

d. first it was reading; now it is writing. Next it will be arithmetic. I don’t like where this is going.

8. Okay, here is the math part.

a. My checkbook never balances

b. I never twice get the same answer on the calculator

c. as long as I can make the payments, what’s the big deal?

d. I will use Cliff’s notes

9. When in class

a. I believe everything I am told because professors are smart. That is why they are all rich and famous.

b. sit next to a smart guy and copy his notes

c. tweet

d. why would I go to class?

10. I expect college

a. to get me a easy, exciting job paying megabucks

b. to be a really fun time

c. to satisfy my thirst

d. huh

The correct answer  is “e”. True, there  is no “e”, but no one said college reflected real life. Get used to it; college is only one of the curve balls life is going to throw you.

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