Hey! Randy

General Union Motors

Posted by heyrandy on November 26, 2008

The value of shares in General Motors is rapidly approaching dishwater.  For many this is a sad thing.  Many are concerned as to what will happen if GM goes broke.  These people envision massive loss of jobs at GM with secondary effects felt throughout the economy.  Doom and gloom everywhere.

I, however, take a different view.  Instead of a government bailout with taxpayer’s money, I advocate the bailout be by the unions that represent the workers at GM.  This is a real opportunity for the unions.  Just think of the benefits this take over would bring.  No more over payed, incompetent managers.  No sir!  The union could fire all those big dollar dummies and replace them with people earning a lot less.  Most of the current GM managers are a college educated, many with advanced degrees, crowd.  The union could replace these people with a group of line workers.  (May I be so bold as to suggest a preference be given to high school dropouts?  After all, these people were smart enough to abandon the dumb factory, so they at least know how to cut losses.)  You know the kind:  the ones who always grouse about how stupid the management is.  (Given GM’s troubles, I can’t argue with that one.)  I am not sure the line workers could do worse.

Another benefit would be the increase in jobs in this country.  The unions have long opposed any products made abroad.  With my suggestion the unions would get their way.  The new management could make all its components in America.  Jobs for everyone, and at union scale.

The plan should lead to a great increase in productivity.  There will be no complaining about how the company is cheating its workers.  With the union running the show all such complaints will be resolved in favor of the workers.  Strikes will be eliminated.  Happiness and harmony will abound.

You may object that the unions do not have enough money to buy controlling interest in GM.  I reply that majority interest is not really necessary.  All the unions have to get is enough shares to swing the vote their way.  Many shares are never voted.  Besides, once the union plan becomes known, many will gladly sell their shares at a price that is even lower than dishwater.  For such a noble purpose, no worker will ever object to an increase in union dues; after all, they all are going to be millionaires with their unions in charge.

Think of the prestige my plan will bring to the unions.  For too long unions have been perceived as a gang of lowlife thugs only concerned with getting their hands on someones money.  Here is a real opportunity to improve the public image of the unions.  The union have long insisted that everyone works better in a union.

Let the share buying begin!  I predict that once the unions are in total control it will be only five years before the company dead.


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